Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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