oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize