Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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