Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
