I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
