I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
