u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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