my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
