Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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