I bet he comes in French.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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