Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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