I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
