Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
