Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she was so not down for the gang bang
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
