You just made me feel so damn special
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
