The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
