I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
