Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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