i just wanna soil my oats bro
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
