brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
