yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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