My brain says no but my pants say off.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
