your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize