the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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