I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
