you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
