Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
