i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize