K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
