The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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