Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
