how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
