I love black thongs
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
