i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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