Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
