she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
