I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i will never coherently bang her
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
