I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
