Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
you had me at cake vodka
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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