Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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