I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
