careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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