I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
