Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
