My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
