Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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