Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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