I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
