Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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