i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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