She just used a chaser for red wine.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Randomize
