Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
