I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
