I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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