If that was your dad, he is hot
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
