I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
