Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
