Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
