I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
