you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
