Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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