We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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