he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
