lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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