Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
