So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
