i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
